Fabulous Ivy

Fabulous Ivy

Commissioned by: anonymous

Written by: Danni Lynn

Word Count: 3,000 words

October 18th, 2023

 Synopsis: Brilliant biochemist, Frankie Songmin, wants to put his new experiments to the test. With a love for DC Comic's Poison Ivy, he dresses in his drag alter ego, Fabulous Ivy, to rob a bank and--hopefully--make the local headlines.

Rating: PG-13

TW: Hypnosis, crime.

Going to the bank at 10 AM in the morning might be a drag if only regular people shuffled to and fro depositing checks, and bothering bank tellers all while dressed in drab clothes that were hardly fit for leaving the comforts of home. But one morning, at a Sacramento branch of Sixth-fourth Bank, a young man dressed in drag pushed his way through the front doors, relishing the average moment around him that floated, as if drifting between two spaces in time: the moment before he arrived and the moment everyone in the room noticed him in all his glamour.

Frankie Songmin was a man of many talents. He was a brilliant biochemist, someone who went by unnoticed with his (as he thought) plain dark eyes and hair. But when he was Fabulous Ivy, he was a force to be reckoned with. Dressed to look like DC Comic’s Poison Ivy, Fabulous Ivy had lusciously long strawberry blonde hair with a mesmerizing red tint at the tips. He wore a green leather body suit with triangular shoulder pads, a corset, and short bottoms that caressed his curves. Elbow-length gloves covered his arms and hands and his bare tan legs ended in knee-high, stiletto boots. The wide pointed shoulder pads added to the litheness of his height and accentuated his thin corseted waist in dramatic contrast. Overall, the entire outfit was a sight to feast on.

On his belt, he carried three secret items that he had created in his lab. He caressed each one, making sure everything was ready and in place. His special lipstick, compact, and a small vial were all secured. Fabulous Ivy smiled, his heart fluttering in anticipation. Today was going to be the day he made a name for himself. He could see the headlines now:

Vivacious Femme Fatale—A Bedazzling Bank Heist—Still at Large!

Today he was going to become known by everyone in Sacramento. He would claim the fame, make the money he had always dreamed of, and would roll in the joy of being a wanted enemy of the law. His beauty was sure to captivate all and the public itself would be trapped in wonder. They would ponder his mysterious appearances: How could someone so beautiful be so evil?

The bank was a simple suburban one. A small building with only a lobby and a back area for private offices and the vault were marked off with an “employees only” sign on the door. A dark carpet covered the floor, and a few fake ferns decorated the empty spaces between stanchions marking out the cues for each counter.

A sleepy security guard was sitting in a chair by the front window reading a paper, and only two clerks were at their desks. A few customers were scattered about, in line, waiting in the lobby, or sitting in armchairs by the windows.

It took only a moment after entering for Fabulous Ivy to garner a few glances. The customers noticed first, some audibly gasped, but after the first wave of shock passed through the room, everyone’s eyes were on him.  

The security guard noticed last, looking up from his newspaper with raised eyebrows. He was a large man with dark curly hair, a brown complexion, large shoulders, and a chest that strained against the confines of his buttoned-up uniform. He stood up and set the newspaper down and nodded to Fabulous Ivy.

“Good morning, miss,” the security guard said. Fabulous Ivy smiled, flashing his white teeth. He strutted straight over to the guard and pricked his chest with one manicured nail.

“‘Miss?’ I think you are a little off your mark, but if you’d like, I answer to ‘Queen,’” Fabulous Ivy said. He tilted his head back to look up at the tall man. A plastic name tag on his chest read, “Cameron O’Donnel.”

“Oh, sorry,” Cameron said. “Well, if you need anything, just let me or one of the tellers know. We would be happy to help.” Cameron turned to pick up his paper when Fabulous Ivy reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I think you can help me, in more ways than one,” he whispered. Cameron turned back around with his eyes wide, almost puppy-like in the way a dog looks confused when their favorite toy is replaced with some unknown object. He looked soft, manipulable; all despite his muscular frame.

“Excuse me?”

“I think you might be just my type. You seem so strong, so capable…” Fabulous Ivy wove as he spoke. He tilted his head, making sure his long flowing hair slipped off his shoulders at the right moments, and waved his hips side to side, as if there was an unheard song playing in the air. He moved slowly, a personification of slow jazz in his enticing seduction. Fabulous Ivy let go of Cameron’s shoulder and stepped closer, into his personal space, and gently smushed his chest against the guard’s hard pecs. “Maybe you can help me…”

Cameron was frozen for a moment. His mouth was half open, unspeaking, and a ghastly look passed over his face. His cheeks burned red, and his eyes darted away from Fabulous Ivy to beg assistance from any of the onlookers around them. At the tellers’ counter, the two employees were watching in unabated shock. One, a blonde woman, was pinker than Cameron; and her coworker, a middle-aged man with a heavy mustache stood behind his counter with his mouth wide open. Fabulous Ivy winked at them, recognizing the man to be caught in his spell, before turning his attention back onto Cameron.

Cameron was a different story. He could feel his body tense and react to him, as if he secretly enjoyed it but his face reacted otherwise. He did not look like someone who would be attracted to him, he had to admit. He was tall, handsome, strong, and seemed to be aware of that fact. He had assumed Fabulous Ivy was a woman at first glance, not even considering the alluring charm a man in drag can evoke. He must be straight as a rod, but that wouldn’t deter him by any means. It was all the more reason to make him adore him, despite his initial distaste.

“What the hell?!” Cameron spat. He pushed Fabulous Ivy back by the shoulders and stepped away to put as much distance between them as possible. Fabulous Ivy careened backward, catching himself against the entrance’s doorframe.

“Don’t get too excited,” Fabulous Ivy teased. He stood up straight and smoothed his outfit, his fingers lingering over his accentuated curves.

“I have a girlfriend!” Cameron snapped. “Keep your hands off me!”

“Did I ask?” Fabulous Ivy retorted. “Do I care?” He approached Cameron, taking long, languid steps. His heels’ strikes were muffled by the carpet, but the effect worked all the same. Cameron glanced down at Fabulous Ivy’s long legs, giving him a moment of opportunity.

Fabulous Ivy pulled the small vial from his belt and shook some of the contents into his palm. A soft green powder, glimmering like glitter, sprinkled out. Fabulous Ivy returned the vial to his belt and then lifted his powdered hand up to his lips. He once again stepped right up to Cameron and blew. The powder dispersed into the air, momentarily clouding Cameron’s sight as he breathed it in. The green haze shimmered in his mind, erasing all his concerns and worries. His thoughts about his girlfriend and how they had just been talking over breakfast about having kids one day, how today should have been just a normal boring shift at the bank, and all his confusion about the drag queen Poison-Ivy-wannabe in front of him bubbled up into forgotten nothingness.

Cameron pulled back and shook himself. His eyes had a dull green tinge, and the flush of his anger was now gone from his face. His body relaxed and he stood watching Fabulous Ivy, as if waiting for him to release him from a command.

Fabulous Ivy lifted a finger and whipped around to jab it at the horrified customers and bank workers around him.

“If anyone so much as moves a muscle—I’ll do the same to you!” He turned back to Cameron and reached up to stroke his chin. Cameron leaned into the oncoming touch, but Fabulous Ivy let his palm and fingertips hover just a hair’s breadth away. Cameron tried to push his jaw into his hand, but Fabulous Ivy moved around him, teasing, and almost touching, but never coming into contact with the now enamored man.

“That’s a good boy. Now, do as momma says, okay?” Fabulous Ivy purred. He toyed with the security guard, leaning in close, as Cameron quivered in anticipation of his intoxicating touch. “I want you to go to the bank’s vault and start filling these bags—” he handed a compressed bundle of bags to Cameron, “—with as much money as you can carry. After you are done, carry it outside to the getaway car on the curb. Okay, baby?”

Cameron nodded, a slip of unchecked drool whispering down his cheek.

Behind Cameron, the two bank employees were away from their posts. Fabulous Ivy turned to see them both inching down the counter, groping around beneath it, as if to reach something. It was common for a panic button to be placed behind a teller’s desk but the two were incapable of locating it.

“What do you think you are doing?” Fabulous Ivy asked. The two employees froze. The man gulped and the woman clasped her face in her hands, trembling. “You don’t want the cops to interrupt us now, do you?”

Fabulous Ivy dumped more of the dust pheromones into his hand and threw them into the air, sending a sparkling shower toward the surrounding customers. Today was his first time trying out the various gadgets and concoctions he had made in his lab, and he had to admit, he was quit impressed with how quickly they worked.

The surrounding customers fell to their knees, pining and reaching for Fabulous Ivy. He sauntered past everyone and lifted his hands into the air, shimmying his bust as if he were on stage.

“The fun is just about to begin!” Fabulous Ivy spun and kicked one of his heels in the air. He twisted and then leapt over one of the armchairs, before dipping down to crouch before an enamored customer on the floor. He cupped their chin in his hand and the customer trembled, their eyes rolling back at the ecstasy of his touch. Fabulous Ivy smiled and got up, bounding over to the counter. He hopped up onto one and dramatically crossed his legs. Leaning back, he snatched the male employee by his tie and pulled him over. The man ogled him with a mix of confusion, fear, and lust.

“P-please don’t hurt us,” he stammered.

“I’ll only make it hurt really good,” Fabulous Ivy murmured. Taking out his lipstick, he popped the lid off with his thumb and revealed a bright-red stick. Bringing it to his lips, he applied it slowly, delicately dragging it across his plump lips, coloring them a dark fiery red. Smacking his lips, Fabulous Ivy comically puckered up and leaned down toward the bank teller who instantly leaned away with a yelp. Fabulous Ivy paused and tightened his grip on the tie.

“And what’s your name?” he asked.

“J-James B-Bauer!” he squeaked. His double-chin wobbled.

“And how long have you worked at this… establishment?”

“Twenty years.”

Fabulous Ivy raised an eyebrow in faux shock. “And you are still just a bank teller? You poor man. He let go of his tie and grasped his face before planting a red-tinted kiss on his lips. James’ mouth parted with a gasp but then he stumbled back and slumped to the floor in a stupor. His coworker opened her mouth to scream, but in the pheromone daze, she only managed to stare.

Fabulous Ivy flipped his legs over the counter and dropped behind the desk, cornering the final worker against the wall.

“Don’t worry, he’s only asleep,” Fabulous Ivy said. He tapped his lips. “Just a little something that I made. Cool, right?” The woman nodded weakly. She looked young, wearing her loose hair with oversized sweaters, but the slightest hint of crows’ feet at the corners of her eyes gave away the stresses of a middle-aged woman, but not quite as old as James looked. Fabulous Ivy cocked his head and gathered his lips into a glowing pout. “Oh, you look like you could use some rest, dear.” Fabulous Ivy removed the compact case from his belt and flipped it open. He smeared some of the powder on his finger and dotted the woman’s cheeks and forehead with it. Her fear melted away and she began to look over his shoulder, as if staring off at some beautiful scene.

“There we go. Nice and easy, that should help you relax…” Fabulous Ivy helped her down to the floor to sit next to the sound asleep James. With the last employee handled, he bounced upright and clapped his hands. “Alright, time to finish this heist!”

Stepping over James, Fabulous Ivy made his way into the backroom where on one side, the vault door was open with Cameron dutifully filling the bags up, and on the other, a handsome young man was just leaving his office and entered the hallway. Well dressed in a fitted suit, his dark hair was oiled back, and his bright-blue eyes sparkled with intellect. Fabulous Ivy quickly ducked back out of sight as the man stopped and looked toward the vault.

“Mr. O’Donnel, what are you doing?” the man’s perfect brow crinkled ever so slightly. He stomped over to the vault and roughly tapped on Cameron’s shoulder.

“What on Earth is going on?!”

Cameron didn’t respond. He continued stuffing handfuls of money into the bags Fabulous Ivy had given him and hummed as he did so. The man tapped on his shoulder again and tried to shake him, but Fabulous Ivy snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He snuggled up against the attractive man, but he whipped around and instantly strained against Fabulous Ivy’s grip.

“And who are you?!”

“Only the man of your dreams,” Fabulous Ivy answered. He wanted to run his fingers up and down that fine suit and explore the nooks and crannies of his lean, toned body. “I thought I was only here to steal some money, make people love me… you know. But I was not expecting to find someone as beautiful as—”

“Get off me!” He pushed away and hurried closer to Cameron, as if the hypnotized man could be of any assistance.

“Cameron, who is this man?” Fabulous Ivy asked.

Cameron paused and looked up at Fabulous Ivy for a moment, a dumb smile stretching across his face. “This is Turner Manning, the accountant and clerk at our branch.”

“Oh really?”

“So what? What does my role matter when you are just robbing us?” Turner said. “Where are the others? Did you hurt them?” He winced and tried to peer down the hallway back toward the main lobby.

“I didn’t hurt anyone. I only wanted everyone to feel immense pleasure in my presence. I’m not a villain to fear, I am someone to love. To admire…”

“I don’t think that will be the case, after you take all our client’s money.” Turner spoke steadily, as if he was not in the middle of a dangerous heist. He seemed to be a ladder climber, much more advanced than his older co-workers and more level-headed in this situation than even the lazy security guard who had assumed Frankie had just been some helpless woman walking in from off the street.

“I can make all your worries go away,” Fabulous Ivy said.

“Why are you doing this?” Turner demanded.

“Why not?”

“Why do you think it’s okay to steal someone else’s money?”

Fabulous Ivy huffed. He approached Turner, swaying his hips as he walked. “Why did you have to steal my heart? I’ll forgive you on one condition—”

“You’re kidding, right?” Turner exclaimed. He backed up into the wall, but Fabulous Ivy kept coming until he had him right where he wanted him. Fabulous Ivy put his weight on one leg, popping his hip out, and leaned against Turner, feeling his body against his. Turner looked away, trying to ignore his flirtatious seductions but Fabulous Ivy was not about to give up.

“I’ll forgive you, if you kiss me…”

Turner pushed back, bucking his body against Fabulous Ivy. “Absolutely not!” he yelled. Turner made to get away, but Fabulous Ivy blew a cloud of pheromone dust into the air again. Turner stumbled and came to a halt, fazed by the sudden warmth and joy that now flowed through his body. Turner spun on his heel and came back to Fabulous Ivy, collapsing on his knees with a moan.

“Please forgive me! I didn’t mean to be so mean; I didn’t mean to upset—” Fabulous Ivy held a finger to his lips and pulled him back onto his feet. Turner moaned and shook. Tears sprang from his eyes and his mouth opened and closed, as if he wasn’t getting enough air, as if he was suffering from some great invisible need.

“Please—please! You are the most desirable man I have ever met. Just kiss me. Kiss me, please!”

“I’ll forgive you,” Fabulous Ivy said.

He leaned in and kissed Turner, their lips coming together in a passionate twist. He kissed him feverishly, pressing closer as Turner melted under his touch, clinging to his body as he lost the will to stay balanced on his own feet. Turner began to cry, kissing Fabulous Ivy back, falling deeper under his spell. Turner twisted his hands into Fabulous Ivy’s long hair, and the warmth of his body against his was all too consuming when suddenly, the lipstick took effect, and his body went limp.

A silent moment passed except for a shuffling as Cameron sealed the last of the bags. Fabulous Ivy wiped his mouth and smiled down at Turner, who was now crumpled on the floor.

“Job well done, Cameron. Let’s get out of here,” he said.

On his way out, Fabulous Ivy stopped in the middle of the lobby and surveyed all the customers lying about on the floor. Their eyes followed him drearily, lost in a distant peaceful dream.

“Enjoy your rest, dearies,” Fabulous Ivy said. He posed and spun around once before heading out the door. He wanted to make sure no one forgot him soon.

As Cameron loaded up the last of the bags into the getaway car, Fabulous Ivy came over to see him when he was all done.

“You did great! Thank you for your help,” Fabulous Ivy said. He pecked the guard on the lips and guided him down to the sidewalk outside the bank. “Now enjoy the peace and quiet until the drugs wear off. And remember, don’t forget about me!”