Daisy Duke Fanfiction #2
Commissioned by: anongreay
Written by: Danni Lynn
Date: August 30th, 2024
Word Count: 7,300 words
Synopsis: In an alternate universe where Pauline owns the Boar’s Nest, two city attorneys are in town to help Boss take over the Hazzard’s farm but not if Daisy has anything to say about it!
CW: NSFW, mature for sexual situations, language, nudity, mature themes, and harassment.
Note: Set in an alternate universe based on Dukes of Hazzard, 2005, by Warner Bros. All characters belong to Warner Bros. This piece is not for commercial use and is only a fanfiction piece.
Series List: Daisy Duke Fanfiction #1, Daisy Duke Fanfiction #2, Daisy Duke Fanfiction #3
NSFW Content: Due to the rated-R content in this piece, the entire, uncensored story can be found HERE on my Wix website for 18+ readers only. A SFW sneak peek can be read here on Squarespace.
An alternative universe where Pauline owns the boar’s nest and two attorneys are in town to help Boss take over the Hazzard’s farm.
The boar’s head was full of locals escaping the midday August heat. The sticky tables were crowded as loud conversations filled the air. A Miranda Lambert song crackled over the speakers, adding a cozy girl-power vibe to the classic counrty bar.
Behind the bar, Pauline ran the show with a gentle hand. Her cooks were busy crafting homemade southern staples, her waitresses kept the drinks flowing, and she made conversation with her guests. As the lunch rush settled and everyone tucked into their food, she had a rare minute to catch her breath.
Pauline was dressed in a red buttoned shirt, dark jeans with a black leather belt, and a black cowboy hat. She pushed her brown hair back over her shoulders which made her turquoise earrings quiver.
It had been a good day so far. Her star waitress, Daisy Duke (who was like a daughter to her), was in the backroom getting ready to put on a show. The bar had a stage on the back wall with a curtain dividing the main room from the backroom. The stage made the bar a little crowded as the servers wove through the hungry crowd, but it was an alright place.
Perfect, she’d dare say. And it was all hers.
The bell at the front door rattled and a blast of sunlight from outside announced the arrival of two figures. A gust of dust and the ever-present smell of diesel swept into the room but the two folks coming in were not Hazzard County natives. Heck, they might’ve never stepped foot in north-western Georgia all their lives.
They walked in stride like a power duo. The man wore a fitted suit, had dark hair, and was of medium build. He wasn’t striking by any means, but he carried himself with confidence and by the rash of red skin on his neck and chin, he wasn’t used such a hot climate.
The woman next to him mines-well-have stepped out of one of those fancy fashion magazines, the kind of like you would see in New York City, London, or Paris. Her thin frame was a coat hanger made of small wrists, bony shoulders, and knobby knees only meant to display her sharp dress. She was beautiful, but seeing one so thin gave Pauline a twinge of sympathy. Hopefully she could give her a good warm meal to put some meat on those bones.
The woman towered over her partner who couldn’t be more than 5’8’’ with his shoes on and couldn’t weigh any more than 155 pounds soaking wet. He looked more pretty than the rugged types populating the bar. No one had ever looked so out of place, but she knew she could make anyone feel right at home. That was her forte, by the way. One-part southern charm, the other motherly instinct.
“Go ahead and take a seat, I’ll be with y’all in just a second,” Pauline hollered.
Samantha had told Dill to keep on driving when he had pulled into the bar’s gravel lot.
“If we keep driving and go back into town, there must be a normal place to get food!”
But no. Dill had said, “We’ve come this far from New York. We’ve got to try the local cuisine!” And to top it all off, Boss Hogg recommended the joint, despite having a few choice words for the staff and the woman who owned this place.
Dill and Samantha were in Hazzard to represent Boss in a mining case. They were the best attorneys money could buy and as a power couple, they were an unstoppable team. Boss had probably told them to come here to gather some intel on the locals’ opinions of the mining operations but even more so, one of the Dukes who owned the land Boss was trying to take supposedly worked here.
But seeing the state of the place and the stickiness of the floor, she decided she’d already seen enough to know no one of any use would be in a rundown place like this.
Dill flipped a handkerchief out of his pocket and used it to pull them out a set of chairs at a round table. He was a slight and ungainly kind of man. Attractive, because she wouldn’t be with anyone who wasn’t, but Samantha knew she was the prize in their relationship. Anyone who ever looked at them might wonder why such a beautiful woman was with this wimp of a man—and she was tempted to agree as he nervously sat down at the dirty table—but she knew he worshipped the ground she walked on, and he would never say “no” to her. Obedience like that was more precious than gold. And she was already rich, so it wasn’t like she needed his money either!
Pauline pulled out her notebook and pen and headed over to the new couple. The woman put her elbows on the table but then retreated with a scowl.
“You doing all right?” Pauline greeted. The pair looked up at her in confusion.
“We’re fine, do you have any scotch?” the man asked.
“A martini,” the woman requested.
Pauline smiled but she could already feel her cheeks tightening in the attempt to be civil. “How about a cold one and a coke for the lady?”
Luckily, the man understood that meant they didn’t serve their expensive liquors here.
“Fine.”
“Can I get you folks anything to eat?”
The man looked over his shoulder to a beefy group of well-muscled men sitting behind him. They dwarfed him in size and baskets of burgers, catfish, and fried green tomatoes filled the space between them. He wrinkled his nose.
“No thank you. Just a beer would be fine.”
“I’ll get those for you right away,” Pauline replied. “What’s the name for the order?”
“Samantha—”
“Dill.”
Samantha shot Dill a look of exasperation. Pauline chuckled.
“That’s alright… and you’re in luck! You’re just in time for our Daisy’s show.”
She turned back to the bar just as the woman dipped her head toward her partner but didn’t bother to lower her voice over the guffawing echoing around them.
“Yuck. I can’t wait to see some toothless hick try to hold a tune,” she whispered.
The man laughed and nudged her away. “Oh, behave yourself. We’ll go find somewhere better after this. I’m parched.”
Something hot licked the back of Pauline’s throat. A flicker of anger. Offense. She continued on to the bar, handed in her order, and marched straight into the back room. She never had much of a heart to deal with outsiders who thought they were better than anyone else. Maybe she could show them a good time, as long as they got what they deserved.
In the boar’s nest backroom, the one and only Daisy Duke was getting ready for her show.
Daisy was dressed in her favorite jean cut-off shorts, the fabric hanging on for dear life as she bent over and checked her makeup in the mirror of her vanity. Her blonde hair was twisted up into a bun and bandana for work and she still had on her white tank-top and apron.
As she reached to pull off her apron, Pauline burst into the room in an unusual tizzy.
“Pauline? What’s the matter?” Daisy asked. She tossed her apron aside and started to take down her hair and shook it out.
“Come look,” Pauline whisper-shouted. She waved Daisy over to the door.
Daisy looked around, her eyes bouncing from familiar face to familiar face, but Pauline grasped her chin and forced her to look at the front door where a stiff-looking out of town couple sat at a table the farthest away from everyone else.
“What blew them in?” Daisy asked.
“They’re bad news,” Pauline hissed. Her cheeks were pink. Daisy rarely saw her so worked up about anyone before. Or anything!
“What’d they do? Refuse your honey-drizzled cornbread?” Daisy teased.
Pauline gave her a meaningful look, unable to form an answer.
Pauline was the protective sort. She only got mad when someone insulted her home, business, or those closest to her. It looked like these swarmy characters must have struck all three by the way her jaw clenched.
“I want you to give them a good show. Show them what we’re made of,” Pauline asked. “Make that little lady jealous. Knock them down a few pegs, if you know what I mean.”
“I know just the thing,” Daisy said. A sly grin spread across Daisy’s face. Pauline blanched.
"Wait, I want you to do your normal show—just get back at them!”
“No, I think we need something special here for our special guests,” Daisy said. Their type was so obvious. Tight-ass city-suits who thought they could look down on the country-folk. “Stonewall.”
Daisy spun on her heels and stalked over to a chest of drawers sitting next to her vanity. Pauline followed, wringing her hands at the monster she’d unleashed.
“Oh no, not that,” Pauline said. “Daisy, I don’t know exactly what you’re thinking here but—”
“What, Pauline?” Daisy said. She pulled out a scarlet brassiere. The scant outfit was made of red lace and was the same outfit she used on Enos to save the Duke Farm.
“The boys have their big, bold, gravity defying secret weapons. So do I,” Daisy teased. She shook the tiny lingerie with a proud smile.
Pauline rolled her eyes. “Oh boy. What have I done. Daisy, you haven’t used that ungodly thing in over a year. I thought it was for emergencies only? Poor Enos still hasn’t recovered.”
“He’s fine, and this is an emergency! No one talks to my momma that way in my town and your bar.” She changed out of her tank top and put on the brassiere, leaning over to shimmy so her breasts settled into the cups, her cleavage overflowed and ballooned up to her neck.
Pauline put up her hands in defeat.
“For the record, I didn’t ask for this. I was thinking you could just show a little leg or something to them. Just a little surprise but not knock-them-dead!”
“Don’t you worry abut that. I’ve got my legs, hips—” Daisy popped each body part as she mentioned them. Her long, tan legs, her hips that added to the swell of her luscious curves, “—boobs—that boy is gonna get it all.” Daisy dropped her hands on her hips and thrust out her chest.
“Full-bodied!”
Pauline’s jaw dropped. She had seen this girl in all her forms but even she had to facepalm at the exquisite ridiculousness of it. Daisy was a beauty beyond compare but this couple really had no idea what was coming for them.
… to be continued!